Monday, July 18, 2005

Nobody Appreciates Waitresses

Alright... no matter how you may argue the matter, waitressing is a job that is obscenely unnappreciated by most. For those of you who don't understand this.. let me shed a little light and perhaps give you some perspective. Here are some reasons why you should appreciate your waitress and some do's and do nots to consider...

1) Your waitress makes minimum wage- and here's a newsflash, most people aren't waitressing just because they find it an extra-fulfilling pastime. Most of them are either college students or young mothers, neither of which is a cheap lifestyle, so basically you are paying our wage beyond the mere schillings we will otherwise make... think minimum wage is all we deserve for such an easy job?... hear you me....

2) At any given moment she is remembering ten or more things at once- I know that you might die if you don't get your salad right away or wither to nothing if your coke doesn't get refilled this second, but every other table is making the same demands on your waitress, so just relax. And if she forgets which one of you was drinking the diet coke or that you wanted your gravy on the side, dont' roll your eyes and treat her like an idiot. She's serving drinks and trying to remember special requests for 20 or more other grouchy people, which requires more mental capacity than you are using sitting on your butt picking your nose and grumbling because you've waited more than thirty seconds for her to bring the ketchup. (Just for the record, I never forget to put the gravy on the side and always bring the refills and ketchup in record time...)

3) Your waitress has the regulation number of arms for a human being- You must see this, so why are you trying to give her something when her hands are already full? Ridiculous

4) You have no idea what kind of day your waitress has had- And do you know why? Because even though every other table all day has completely abused her and she hasn't slept more than a few hours all week and there are a million other things in life stressing her out, she is still smiling at you and doing your bidding so that your meal can go smoothly... which brings me to my next point

5) A little appreciation goes a long way- It doesn't take that much to share a little common courtesy with your waitress. Say please and thank you, be understanding and patient. I know it may be asking too much, but it might not kill you to be friendly to your waitress. And a couple extra bucks is a big deal for her when she just ran her butt off all night. A little validation makes a crappy night worthwhile.

6)A toonie is not the maximum amount allowed to tip- many people appear to think that regardless of if your bill is twenty dollars or two hundred and fifty dollars, a toonie is all that is required. Here's a second newsflash, you are supposed to tip 15% nowadways, more if your service was really good. Most waitresses are lucky to get 10% if anything. It's pretty basic math.... if you're having trouble ask your waitress to figure it out for you, because her intelligence likely exceeds you own.

7) Appreciate it when your waitress does a good job- Sometimes when everything is going really smoothy with your meal and everything is in place, it's easy to forget why it's going so smoothly, because your waitress is making it that way. If she is doing an awsome job, tell her and show her by tipping her for her hard work. If you can afford to eat out, you can afford to pay her for answering your every ridiculous request, and doing it with a smile on her face.

8) The waitress is not cooking the food- If your food sucks, don't punish your waitress, her job is to serve you and make you comfortable, if she's doing that, she's doing her job, so don't grouch at her, treat her crappy or revoke the miniscule tip you were going to leave her if the food was bad, because that's not her fault genius.

9) Your waitress is a person- She's not a dog and so should not be expected to respond to you snapping your fingers or whistling at her. Although it may max out your brain capacity to verbalize a request, lift a hand to wave or catch her eye, just try anyway, for her sake.(Seriously... any of you who have done this, you're lucky if you didn't get punched in the head.

10) Finally... Don't hit on your waitress- She may smile at you when you make some rude suggrstive comment at her, but that's likely because a) She still wants a tip and/or b)She wants to keep her job... otherwise she'd probably blow you off completely or better yet kick you in the junk. Be friendly, tell her she's doing a good job is she is, heck even tell her she's pretty if you really think so. But otherwise, just eat your food and stop staring at her caboose as she walks away (yes, she knows when your doing that)

I could really go on... before I finish here I'd like to acknowledge that there are crappy waitresses out there, and if your service is genuinely sucky then hey, you don't have to leave a pile of money (although a couple of bucks still wouldn't kill you, she's only human) but most waitresses are friendly, hardworking people who are doing their best to make your night nice, so don't be an ass, reward her for her service.

In closing, I am a stellar waitress with a sparkling personality and amazing wit, I own everyone at waitressing (Except for those really old waiters and waitresses who have done it for a million years... I admit that they own me)


At 11:15 PM, Blogger LBomb said...

Jenner, are you writing these just for me? Great blog. Just phenomenal. I almost can't beleive it's you writing them. I'm pleasantly surprised.

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Jenner said...

Is this a compliment? Well, I'll take it as one.

At 11:32 PM, Blogger Angelina said...

wow ! im using this for my research paper & must u say nice bLog :) but when you say noone appreciates a waitress , what do you mean by that ? are you a waitress that gets rude customers ? if so , that sucks /:

At 11:32 PM, Blogger Angelina said...



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