This devo sucks

June 5/05
Hard lessons....

Recently I really disappointed someone I love, as recently as tonight in fact. Seriously, words cannot describe how terrible I feel right now, I actually forgot what it was like to feel this bad. And the worst part is that I had no idea what was going on until it was too late. This thought struck me, that it’s amazing how much damage you can do by doing nothing, that I can hurt people more not by my actions but by my lack of action. It makes me wonder how much I do that in my life. It’s like I get so caught up in anything and everything else, caught up with life, and I don’t even stop to look at the people around me and see what’s going on, stop and notice, not to pacify or gratify or fix people, but just to care. Care about what they’re going through, what they want, what they need, what they can’t do for themselves but don’t know how to ask for it from someone else.
As much as this feeling sucks, I’m thankful for this wakeup call. Where are my priorities? If you asked me I would tell you Jesus is my priority, my friends and family are my priority, and I’m sure you’d all say the same, but a lot of the time our actions (or lack of action…) prove differently. God showed me with this tonight that my priorities are not where I thought they were, and are not where they need to be, and because of that on my part, people in my life are caused pain. It’s inexplicably humbling and even more so, heartbreaking. The most important things in Jesus life were the Father, and people. There was really nothing else. And so if I honestly stop and look at my life and my actions and those two things don’t take first priority, then there definitely needs to be a change… If I love the people in my life, I’ll care about them, think about them, just notice them for heaven’s sake. Issues in life, work, the future, health, church, money, social statuses, whatever else you can think of… it’s all crap. It’s all just B.S. Nothing but pride…And it shouldn’t run my life.
I honestly don’t know what else to say about this, I’m just wrecked to the core… And to those of you feeling the pain from the lack of “noticing” or otherwise in your relationships, let me be the first to say I’m sorry. In the next little while here I’m going to take some time to personally appreciate people individually, but until then, accept my apologies and know that I love you. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt forgotten or past by, and for me personally, after tonight I will never let it happen again.

So here’s the challenge I guess… Pull your head out of the proverbial butt of “your busy life and look around. People need you, need your attention, need your love, need you to listen, need you to just freakin notice..
So do it, and don’t wait, do it now.