Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Innovative ideas....

Well, I haven't posted in forever and so I thought I'd better get something up. I decided to post a paper I wrote for one of my classes... our assignment was simply this: Write a persuasive essay...Here's what I wrote... (For those of you who may have read "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift, this is somewhat of an ode to his writing..)
I apologize in advance for my insensitivity...

My Humble Suggestion
The Homeless: A Drain on Society – or a Marketable Product?

Although Canada is a thriving and prosperous nation, as a society, we still have our issues. One of these issues is the dilemma of our country’s homeless. Canada’s homeless are diverse and many, all carrying their own stories and their own reasons for the circumstances they are in. Some people see this as a big problem, but not me. The homeless of our nation need not be an affliction to society. In fact, I believe that they can be an asset. With a little marketing creativity and some capitalist values, Canada’s homeless situation could be transformed into an entrepreneurial dream come true.

Now the possibilities are endless, but to illustrate my point I will make a few suggestions as to how we could begin taking advantage of our most recently discovered natural resource. For our first idea, we can look to Canada’s youth, who are always brimming with new and innovative ideas. In the recent past, in both the United States and Canada, there have been reports of teenagers staging what are called “bum fights.” In these bum fights, two homeless are pitted against one another in a physical fight, usually for a food reward, a sandwich for example. The winner of the fight evidently receives the prize, while the losing bum presumably slinks away to find other means of satisfying himself. Apparently these kinds of staged events have become popular among many young people, which makes it clear that the question is not “could we market this?” but rather, “why hasn’t anyone packaged and priced this yet?” Cost for putting on these events would be practically nothing, especially since the best place to watch bums duke it out would be in their natural habitats, under bridges and in back alleys. These venues cost nothing to use, and by creating an enclosed space and acquiring some kind of security personnel, one could make it possible to charge a nominal fee to gain entry to view the bum fights.

Once again, these small details can be easily taken care of free, or relatively free of charge, if only one uses a little creativity. For example, a few strategically placed trash cans and empty boxes, which will undoubtedly be many and nearby, can create a grand, and portable, stadium atmosphere. As for the security personnel, why not use homeless people for that too? They will be close by already anyway, and can be paid in sandwiches, or some other equivalent, as ultra cheap and convenient labour. Watching a bum fight could be an excursion you take alone, with friends, or with the whole family, and could really bring us back to times like the ancient Romans had in their grand coliseums. This brings forth an additional idea -- themes for bum fights. With just a visit to the local costume store, the event has been turned into not only a form of entertainment, but also an informative and memorable history lesson. Bums could be transformed into World War Two-like soldiers, brave Roman gladiators or British and American patriots.

Another example of how we can best take advantage of this natural resource is by reverting back to some of the age-old, yet brilliant tactics of our forefathers – human trade. In the modern world, life is much too busy, and sometimes many of us could just use another pair of hands. This could be made completely possible if homeless people could be packaged and marketed properly. Anyone could purchase his or her own homeless individual; they would be very affordable because of the large and easily accessed supply. Life could go back to being simpler, less busy and less stressful. Want to go out with your significant other but need to have that report on your boss’ desk tomorrow morning? Let your bum take care of it; having to use wiles and trickery living on the street, bums can be very innovative and productive with their ideas. Need those rain gutters cleaned out but just can’t find the time? Climbing on dumpsters and sleeping in narrow spaces makes scaling the roof easy as pie for your bum, and don’t worry about the mess, it won’t bother him, he’s used to being dirty. Should a person be worried about the cost of keeping a homeless person, they may put those concerns to rest. Maintaining your bum is simple: Sleeping quarters can be arranged in the garage or shed and cost of feeding your bum is so minimal, it’s comparable to keeping a small house pet. They need to be fed only a small amount once or twice a day, and otherwise need little care, as street life has made them minimalistic and surprisingly resilient. Homeless people can also make wonderful companions in your leisure time, many of them having interesting stories to tell, and hilarious antics to perform for you and your whole family. You’ll be surprised at how fast you’ll grow attached to your homeless person.

The most fortunate part of these new and innovative ideas is that everyone wins in the situation. Canadian people can have access to cheap entertainment and a helping hand in everyday life with the use of homeless people. Many young and enthusiastic entrepreneurs will be able to get new businesses off the ground and bring in some great revenues because of the aforementioned low cost of marketing the homeless, and the certain success of the product. Bums will be able to get a sense of pride, belonging and contributing to society as they become useful products and assets to their nation and its people.

Why no one has taken advantage of this amazing resource yet is unknown to me, but it need not go on being a wasted opportunity any longer. With virtually no disadvantages, and many benefits for everyone involved, the pros outweigh any cons by tons in this new, exciting and innovative proposal. With these modest ideas put forward, my hope is that some intelligent, motivated individuals will grab hold of the concept of marketing the homeless and put their own personal touch to it – so that no longer will there be the question of if this marketing sensation might happen, but when.

( Sorry I know it's long.. I got a pretty good mark on this..=) )

Friday, December 16, 2005

Men.. you must do something to redeem your gender...

Ok... so living in res I am around plenty of other young people, many of them male, and I'm not gonna lie, they never cease to continue to amaze me on so many different levels... let's take tonite for example...

During finals they have a snack for us at 9:45 every night to sustain us through the late nights, etc. So all of us were down in the cafeteria including our three main characters.. we have a dating couple.. let's call them Jack and Jane, who both live in res. And then some random punk kid, apparently a friend of one of the res guys, we'll call him DP (as in disgusting perve) . He's consumed a small amount of alcohol earlier in the evening, and is feeling a little less inhibited than usual perhaps. He has already been acting suggestively towards the females, but so far has been fairly harmless. Everyone is hanging out.. eating our rice cripsy squares, chatting and generally having a good time.

I'm on the opposite side of the cafeteria from the group in which Jack, Jill are hanging out. DP approaches their group and proceeds to make some kind of random comment, I look up just in time to see him take a huge slap/grab of Jill's rear end. I am instantly taken aback at this initial action, but not half as digusted as I would be with what was to come next. Jill's boyfriend Jack, who is standing right next to her and has encountered this whole thing first hand... does.. nothing. No reaction whatsoever.. He doesn't defend her honor, doesn't seem surprised or upset by this at all... I'm speechless at this point..

Now Jill is the type of girl who would never want to make a scene or seem uptight so she doesn't say anything but is visibly upset and uncomfortable. First because she has just been violated and second because her boyfriend seems to find it perfectly acceptable. Jill being one of my res homegirls, I'm not going to just let this slide.. So I head on over to take care of business and maybe rough up this 4 foot nothing perverted little punk, since apparently Jack isn't man enough to do it himself.. Luckily for the sick little jerk his friend grabs him and they head out the door (likely to find further means of intoxicating themselves) and are gone before I get across the room. And so I must be satisfied with at least consoling Jill and glaring icily at Jack.. Another ridiculous thing about this situation is that there were plenty of other guys and girls around who also witnessed this and didn't say anything until I came over and expressed my horror.. at which point the surrounding people ernestly agreed... infuriorating me further...

Things like this are simply stunning to me... I'm not even sure what else to say about this besides that people are cowards. A poor little 95 pound girl gets felt up in the cafeteria and no one makes a peep for fear of breaking from the crowd. This isn't only for the guys, the girls were just as bad.

Seeing situations like this makes me even more determined that if I ever encounter similar situations I will refuse to remain silent regardless of whether it is my own personal business or not. I don't care if you think it's my business, I'll make it my business when I see people disrespecting each other like we're all a bunch of dirty crap- flinging apes or something...

I know that there are nice good guys out there, I know some personally. But seriously, in general I've been sorely dissapointed from my experiences.. especially this year in res..

I think Darwin was on to something when he suggested sterilization for people deemed "incompetent"......

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

I just don't understand...

Only moments ago... I was happily getting ready for bed here in my nice little dorm room. I had my pj's on, I was eating my cheesy bun.. and all was well in the world. But all was not to remain as such.. Oblivious to the atrocities that awaited me I opened up my e-mail account and was pleased to see some e-mails from some friends and family. In not one.. but two of those e-mails... did I discover a hello? Perhaps a "here's what I'm up to, how about you?" No...no. instead... there was only.. this..

"Hey everyone, how have you been? Here is a
serious notice for all the broke people out there or those who value their $$,
remember don't shoot themessenger because that is all I am. On the 1st of
november 2005 , we will have to pay for the use of our msn and email accounts
unless we send this message to at least 18 contacts on your contact list. It's
no joke if you don't believe me then go to the site ( www.msn.com ) and see
for yourself. Anyways once you've sent this message to at least 18
contacts , your msn man will become blue. Please copy and paste this message and
don't forward it because people won't take notice of it otherwise."
Now this is approximately the 7th and 8th time I've recieved these e-mails... I suppose these certain friends to be individuals of reasonable common sense. It was extremely dissapointing.
Here is what you need to know.. these e-mails are NOT TRUE... where do I even start??? When hotmail makes any changes, even the most miniscule, we all recieve those little hotmail e-mails updating us on what's new and fun, but yet they wouldn't inform us if they were doing something like this? Now come on..I am serious.. and I'm not even going to continue on with the argument, because of how painfully... painfully obvious it is.
I have never sent any of those zillions of e-mails claiming this exact thing, and I am still using my same hotmail account and not being charged anything. So next time you recieve an e-mail with one of these outrageous claims, just take a breath, build up your courage and click that delete button. The feeling of liberty that follows is exhilerating.. so please... just do it.. for my sake, and the sake of those you love. Thank you.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Jen's college life

As you may know, the whole college experience is new to me, and in my time here so far I've had a lot of "firsts" for things. Mostly it has been fun, although not without uncomfortable moments. One thing I have learned so far is that living in Res makes you a huge slacker, because you are pretty much at "home" all of the time, knowing a nice couch, soft bed, or group of other Res friends are close by at any given moment is not condusive to good study habits. *sigh*.... it's a hard knock life. Getting back to all of my first college experiences, there have been many new and interesting experiences, including first res friends, first dorm room, first "drunken 18 year old" encounter (please refer to previous posts) and tonite included a number of other firsts, like first university concert and unfortunately, first trip to the Owl, the campus bar.

Today started as any other day, trying to get work done all day but never getting very far. Little did I know the night would hold some new and interesting experiences.

I became informed that Hedley was playing tonite in the multi-purpose room by the Owl, and that I had to come. Sounded like good times to me so off I went. Although it was a pushing, shoving screamfest up at the front, the concert was good entertainment, after which the girls took me to the Owl, where there was much drinking and karaoke, none of which was I taking part in.
I was a little nervous going to the bar with the girls, as it's not my scene to say the least, but to my surprise the experience was not a terrible one. I met some people with my friends, said hey to the bands who played (they came there after) and when I ordered a coke at the bar the chick gave it to me for free. To my pleasant surprise, I didn't have to deal with my first "beating on drunk guy trying to get near me" which was something I was expecting upon entering the premises. So all in all, the night wasn't a bad time, although I likely still won't be spending much time at the owl. And by that I mean I won't be spending ANY time there. My first trip will also prove to be my last.

Now another college experience which is doing homework at all hours of the night... on a last note, I love Jesus.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

some facts

So the thing about me is this: I love Jesus.

Seriously, I do. Jesus is amazing and I love Him. In fact I love Him more than anything or anyone, and I also highly recommend Him to anyone and everyone. Besides the fact that He saved me from all my crap, He is also wicked awsome and always has my back, plus heck He loves me to pieces.

What more could a girl ask for?
Absolutely nothing.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Touch me again and they'll need dental records to identify your cold, dead body....

It's been a while since I've written, but heck with all the craziness of moving into Res and all of the subsequent partying (and by that I mean me and my next door neighbor Shea doing an Orca whale puzzle all night) I just haven't had too much time.

Yes life in Res has been much as expected, new friends, schoolwork... only one very grim downside. A large number of the people who come to stay inRes are fresh from high school, and since the bottom two floors of my Res are guys floors, this means 18 year old guys aplenty.... maybe someone could just shoot me in the face instead, it is entirely likely that, that would be more enjoyable..

As a rule, high school boys are morons. All they care about is sex and beer, in a sporadically rotating order. Something that's almost funny is that they think the girls here will actually want them, it's only almost funny because us girls have to suffer through intolerable encounters with these ridiculous males...

An example.... Friday night Luther College (my res) has a cabaret for everyone at Luther to get to know each other. Before this cabaret, a number of people congregated in a room to hang out before we went. Here's me, sitting on the floor, meeting new people, having a decent time, but my enjoyment was to be shortlived... enter 18ish male, already drunk and looking for anything on legs to slobber all over. Unfortunately I entered his immediate span of vision and over he walks and sits down, halfway on top of me, ( I quickly move over, trying to be polite and not show my distaste overtly...) He proceeds to slur a number of cryptic sentances at me, most of which appear to be an attempt at flirting. After many attempts a revelation begins to creep through the thick alcohol clouded skull... that I'm not biting. Said male moves on to seek less challenging prey. With a sigh of relief, I think my worries for the night are over... sadly I was mistaken...

Fast forward to the cabaret, not enjoying myself entirely too much to begin with, as the club isn't exactly my scene... I am making the most of the night and getting in a little time on the dance floor with a group of my female friends. All is going relatively well and I am beginning to think I will survive the night, when without warning an alien pair of hands graze the mid to low region of my person.. This is unacceptable, looking back, the earlier said male seems to be the owner of the hands. Now being a fairly diplomatic individual, and realizing that as an 18 year old male this person may not understnd why in the world I wouldn't want his grimy paws on me, I choose to not totally diss him in front of everyone and simply move away from his reach to the other side of my circle of friends... now one would think that this would be message enough... but no. The said male, apparently confused, comes around once again to where I am and humorously asks "what, can't you dance?" and again attempts to put his filthy appendages into contact with myself.

A this point I am beyond disgusted and extremely pissed... turning to look him in the eye I reply "I can dance." and deliberately once again step out of his range to the other side of the group of girls, as if to say "just not with you jerkoff, get away from me before I have to kick you in the junk." After this the said male thankfully wandered off in a drunken haze and was no longer a problem, although a number of other 18 year old male encounters also ensued later that night.

I just can't fathom the idea of letting one of these greasy, juvenile horndogs get anywhere close to me... I don't know, maybe I have a stick up my butt or something.. but gah....
Aside from these unpleasant experiences, life in Res so far has proven to be a relatively enjoyable experience, with good times had by all.

If, however, another 18ish tiny brain male approaches me ...I may not be held resonsible for my actions, which may include but not be exclusive to: a punch in the kidney/neck/junk/other......
Yay Luther Res.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Ketchup... I mean.. Catch up

Hey so this post won't be funny probably but that's ok cuz you know...sometimes life is serious..... (that was supposed to be funny...) ...... but seriously....

I've been counselling at camps the past coupleof weeks, good old trossachs and then Unleashed in Moosejaw. Good times. I return with many paintball bruises, some wicked rugburns on my elbows (don't ask) and a greater love for Jesus. What more could a girl ask for? Nothing, that's what. Except maybe a million dollars....and a Jag....and maybe a tan and to lose five pounds. But really, it's great.

It seems like a lot of people are in mayhem right now, so I'm finding myself in this place of sort of... quiet in the madness I guess. It's wierd but cool. I'm learning to talk to God all day, like just when I'm driving be like "hey Jesus, what's up" or praying when I have a minute, it's seriously awsome. At the same time it sucks cuz people around me are in craziness, but I mean all I can really do is be supportive and otherwise just ask God what the heck to do, He always knows.

I'll be moving to regina in like 2 weeks, which freaks me out slightly,but I'm also pretty pumped, and you know what else I'm pumped about? That's right, living in Res. I feel like such an authentic college student now. I got my living in Res guidance package in the mail today and was reading all the rules and stuff. Apparently I'm allowed to have alcohol in the dorm as long as it's in my own room and I'm over 19. This information is obviously irrelevant to myself, which is I guess why it's funny... well, it's good to know just in case I ever decide to become some ridiculous alcoholic.... contrarily however, no controlled substances are allowed anywhere in Res, which does nothing for my weed habit, guess I'll have to give it up... *sigh*

ANYWAY, it's off to bed, the lack of sleep lately is making me some kind of lunatic...... I LOVE JESUS